Friday, May 9, 2014

Ice Jam

It’s been more than a month since I’ve posted and I’m sorry about that. I'm going to try to ease back in here. I’ve been dammed up like the Zumbro river I mentioned in the last issue of Notes From Toad Hall. We captured a little video of the muddy waters and chunks of ice moving under the bridge. The gradual building of pressure finally broke an ice jam and we happened to be there at the moment it happened. Something I’d never seen before. It was both frightening and fascinating at the same time.

Ice jam on the Zumbro River
Everything has had to come together from prepping, selling, looking for and purchasing another house and it has, in amazing ways. But I am excruciatingly aware that people do this all the time, and some do it over and over again, and I am that anemic American that thinks moving is tough. During the first six years of our marriage we moved thirteen times; somehow I’ve either forgotten what it took or just don’t have the stamina anymore. Plus, it has been thirty-three years since we last moved; that's a lot of time to forget how to pack boxes. You’d think I’d be more mature about the unknowns and the stress, but no, it seems not.
It’s not just the upheaval of moving or entering a new stage of life, it’s a combination of other things that add to being somewhat depressed and emotionally jerked around. Like earlier this week I learned that my recent up-tic in hearing loss qualifies me for hearing aids and that this isn’t going to go away, like I hoped it would. And I may need to wait awhile before we can afford them. (So I might be saying WHAaaa? a lot.)  One moment I’m so thankful we sold Toad Hall in three days and the next I’m quite certain we will never find another house that works for us and we’ll end up living in a yurt in my mother’s back yard. This has made it hard to think or write in a fundamentally coherent way. On lots of days going to bed with Almond Joy bars and People magazine seems like a good option, but honestly, I only succumbed yesterday when I couldn’t resist George Clooney on the cover. But even more shameful, is being tempted to buy the nasty National Enquirer. Fortunately I said, Satan, get behind me, and really? I mean, really? People, I don’t think dressing in a kilt qualifies as cross-dressing.
Camilla's World Falls Apart
 I have a friend whose family has been with the State Department and they have relocated across the world many times. She says that each time they moved she wished she were a nun and only needed to pack an extra habit, prayer beads and a cot, but the feeling passed once they got to their new home. I count on that feeling to return. The good news is that we haven’t needed to down-size as much as we initially thought, and in the new house we get to look out the back to a wooded ravine and park full of birds, predators, wild ginger and ramps. A bedroom and laundry on the main floor, and a wonderful and convoluted journey through the wilderness of real estate negotiations brought us to this house. I didn’t think we would make it, but my husband did. In all, we have much to thank God for.
Thank you for stopping by and, again, I apologize for being so spotty with postings, but don’t know how much better I will do in the next few weeks as we continue to pack and plan to move at the end of the month.


Steve and Jan said...

I'm excited for you guys Margie, I know your new place will be as cute and cozy as your other one. Would love to be able to drop in and help you in some way, but not sure I can make it. Maybe Mom and I can make a trip down later this summer. Pace yourself sister! Love ya!

podso said...

I think it sounds like you found a new home, which means you only need to make one move! Hope so. Appreciated your recent Toad Hall … will pray for your strength--emotionally and otherwise as you make the big move! And that you will find much to love about your new nest.

Julene Fletcher said...

Oh wow--you did it! You sold your home! That is an accomplishment, Margie. Selling a home for us "but I may need this some day, or someone else may" people is a psychological battle. One I do not look forward to. But your purging got you to this wonderfulness of selling and then buying another home.

I wanted you to know how much I appreciated your Still Winter issue of Notes. And also the Summer into Fall 2013 where you discuss the burden of being the "Responsible, Oldest Child and wish to please". Me too. I am getting better at saying "no, I can't"--but not without the guilt pains associated with "letting someone down".

So after you are all settled into your new place, I will anxiously await your next book about the Life of Margie. Thank for being YOU!